


In Heaven, Love Comes First

by ThetaSigma



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: A reimagining of creation, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Other, probably blasphemous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 21:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21125807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/ThetaSigma
Summary: The story of creation is slightly mistold. By which we mean, God did certainly create everything, but for a very definite purpose, and it's hardly HER fault that Aziraphale and Crowley took so long to catch on.





	In Heaven, Love Comes First

**Author's Note:**

> This grew out of a comment I made to my sister when we were texting, and her response was "GO POST THAT RIGHT NOW". I fleshed it out a bit first.

In the beginning, there was nothing. Except God, who was rather bored being the only thing around to see, hear, feel, or interact with. God said, “I need someone to talk to. Let me make a thing in my image… sorta.”

The sorta is there because God  _ had _ no image. She hadn’t created one for herself yet. But she figured bipedal was a good look and handy, and She hadn’t created  _ land  _ yet, so a way to move around in the lot of nothing was necessary. 

And so God made Aziraphale, who was a bit doggedly loyal and eager to please. Very puppy-like, if God had invented puppies yet.

And so God said, “Let me try again.”

And so God made Crowley, who questioned everything. His first word was “why?” 

God had originally thought to let Aziraphale be nothing more than amusement, a go-fer, a servant, as She was loathe to destroy her first creation but could see little point in one that grinned fatuously at every word She uttered. 

But then Crowley set eyes upon Aziraphale and God was no longer the focus of any questions or conversations. The conversation flowed between these two naturally, the doggedly loyal Aziraphale suddenly having a bit of a spine against Crowley’s teasing.

And so God thought, well, I have apparently created love. But they will be limited in the nothingness they’re in right now. Let me create more so they can show and demonstrate love and adoration. I’ll create a world they can cohabit, and people who can marvel at their love, and food for them to eat together, and organs with which to bring each other pleasure, and voices to soothe and excite, and places to visit arm-in-arm, and flowers to give each other, and ducks to feed, and plants to nurture, and wine to drink, and old books to rejoice over together, and people to interact with so they’ll have more to say.

And God created Heaven and Eden and filled it with delights for her two angels. It was a bit lost on them because once they could properly perceive each others’ forms, they didn’t take their eyes off each other for long. 

And God was so busy nudging Her angels into noticing what She had created so that they could  _ love _ each other (kissing took seven solid months of nudging) that She failed to notice a brewing rebellion, and suddenly one of the lovebirds was in Hell ( _ whoops _ ). 

And so God decreed that an apple should be eaten and that humanity should spread across Earth and designed it to be an entire playground for their love and stationed them on Earth so that they could be free of the foolish sides She’d failed to quash because  _ they were about to kiss _ .

And somehow they still managed to  _ fuck that up _ , so God took  _ very _ drastic action and engineered Armaggedon so that Her two angels, who were responsible for the creation of literally  _ everything else _ , would finally  _ finally _ realise that all of creation and existence was  _ so they could love each other. _

And finally the two got it. Frequently, inventively, and happily.

And God saw that it was good.

**Author's Note:**

> I think a text I sent to a friend sums this entire fic up: God is a Sims player ignoring the building on fire because OMG THEY MIGHT WOO-HOO.


End file.
